You're not my friend.

I was talking to a friend from high school recently. He and I didn't actually become friends until after high school. We had a few similar friends, yet we never really hung out. As soon as I graduated, I left. I moved five hours away, made a new life and new friends. He, on the other hand, stayed in the small community where we grew up. He is trying to save up money and pay off bills from his "toys." You know, boy toys. A huge truck. So while he is still there, I am here. While he has a few of the same friends that he had in high school, I talk with only about three of my old high school friends. And I'm not sad about it.
In high school, I had friends. Well, I thought they were friends. The main one that I'm going to talk about is one that I don't even talk to anymore. She always seemed sure of herself, yet I've come to realize it was all an act. She had, and still has, many problems with herself. Yet, at the time, I trusted her and believed in her. Every time she ditched me, blew me off, talked behind my back, I defended her and stuck with her. Why? Because I believed that she was my friend.
But "friend" is a hard word. I used to believe a friend was someone that I hung out with. Someone that I talked to and saw every day. It didn't matter if I confided in them or not. As long as I had someone to hang out with. Now, my friends are not necessarily the people that I "hang out" with. Yes, I do hang out with my friends. But I trust them. I love them unconditionally. I tell them everything. They know me inside and out, as I do them.
This girl that I am talking about is not a friend to me. Never really was. Never will be, unless she changes. That may sound horrible. "I won't be your friend unless you change." But I have standards. I did before as well. But now my standards are higher. I need friends that I can count on. And I now have them. And actually, about four of these friends are people that I was friends with in high school. When I moved, I stayed in touch with them. Actually, they stayed in touch with me. And that is the biggest reason I am still friends with them. They made an effort to still talk to me, to still hang out with me.
I think that if I had stayed in the same place that I grew up in, I would not have real friends. I would still be in the same position I was in while in high school. Just "hanging out" with people that I thought were friends. Now, I have no doubt in my mind that the people I have here are my real friends. I know I can always count on them. And that's a nice feeling. Something that I rarely had in high school. I feel secure.

Darwin was a quack.

So I just finished reading an article in National Geographic, February 2009, about Darwin. You know who I'm talking about. Charles Darwin. Evolution. Man descending from apes. Yeah right. Apparently he was supposed to be a member of the church. Then, he went on a five-year trip to South America. He found fossils and what not and became curious. He developed his theory of evolution, wrote a few books, then died. Now, with the discovery of genes and all that jazz, his theory is more prominent and, I'll admit, pretty convincing.
But if all those beliefs are correct, what about God? I realize that the people who believe in evolution probably believe that the Earth created itself out of some meteor hitting the Earth and all the little micro organisms developed into all the animals, apes, and then the apes became people of course. So why does someone believe all that? Is it because it's easier than believing in God? Some people have a hard time believing in something that cannot be proven or seen. Is it because as humans, it is in our nature to want to take the credit for everything? We don't want to believe that some higher being "made" us. We'd rather believe that we evolved, by ourselves, from apes.
Well in the article, there was Part 1, which described Darwin's journey. Part 2 went through what are called "modern Darwins." In Part 2 it described how we not only have the same number of genes as a mouse, but in most cases, the very same genes. Wait, what about apes? I guess if we have the same genes as mice, we must have evolved from them, right? Not. I don't believe we evolved from apes, much less mice. I don't doubt that species evolve, adapting to climates and environments. The strongest will survive. But I also believe that God made it that way. He created animals in such a way that they are able to do that. I also believe in Adam and Eve being the first human beings. And that God created them. I do not believe that we evolved from apes. They may be similar to us, but we are separate species. If we evolved from apes, why are the apes not currently evoloving into humans? They did it once, why can't they do it again? Maybe because it never happened . . .

Just go natural.

Eight babies at once. Already having six kids. Broke. Living with her mom. Angelina Jolie look alike. Oh you know who I'm talking about! And if you don't, you really need to get your head out of your ass and catch up on some current events.
So this lady from California, Nadia something or other, was married. They were unable to have kids. After a back injury at work, they divorced and she started getting disability checks that she lived off of. Apparently, growing up, she was an only child and always longed for siblings so she could have that connection. Ok, understandable. Well after getting a divorce, she got a friend to donate his sperm so she could get pregnant. She said that during her marriage, she had an ectopic(?) pregnancy, she she was scared she couldn't have kids. But she ended up having six, all within five and a half years. She said she always wanted a large family. Well that seems fine to me. She started going to school and supported herself and her kids on her disability check and student loans. Dumb? I think so. Then she says that she lives with her mom. Who declared bankrupcy. Good going. Apparently she kept going to the same fertility doctor, even though her mom says she went to a different one for the last one. And the last one she was inserted with six embryos and ended up having eight babies. Are you kidding me?
First of all, she already has six kids. She is not working, not making any income. Plus, her disability stopped, so all she has are school loans. Well, she will have to pay them back. How can she do that when she is not working? Oh, and she is getting food stamps and some disability because three of her six kids have some problems, such as ADD and autism. I think she seems like a great mom. When they showed videos of her interacting with them, she seemed like a good mom. And I commend her for going to school.
But why get six more embryos? She claims that the doctor told her that her biological clock was maturing faster than normal. Plus, she doesn't believe in throwing embryos away. She said it's throwing a life away. Ok, that's understandable. But if what she said is true, and she did go to the same fertility doctor every time, why did that doctor put six more embryos inside her? I realize that it was his patient's wish, but a few other doctors were consulted and each one said that they would not have done it.
So, eight babies. Fourteen children, in one small house. Living on student loans and $400 each month in food stamps. No job. Lip implants that she says she did not get. However, in every single picture of her, she has thin lips. And during her interview, her lips were huge. So, if she lied about her lips, couldn't she have lied about going to the same fertility doctor?
There's nothing wrong with wanting a large family. She talked about how it's ok for a husband and wife to have eighteen or so children. Yeah well, they are married, have a house that is large enough for a family that size, and at least one of them has a steady income. You, lady, have no job, no income, and are single. Big difference. Plus, she blames being an only child. She says that she never had that connection with a sibling, which lead to her wanting some kind of emotional connection. Plus, she didn't want her children to be only children. Well, I'm an only child and I sure as hell don't want that many kids. I have plenty of emotional connections.
They interviewed a phsycologist. He is not involved in her life, but based on everything he knows about her, he gave his opinion and I agree with it. She is being selfish. She wants some kind of connection so she has all these babies. She is being selfish because she is not thinking about her kids' future. She is only concerned with her happiness. She has some kind of child bearing need that she needs to fulfill.
Seeing pictures and videos of these eight babies that she gave birth to in January, after being pregnant for only five or six months, made me want to cry. Their heads were smaller than her hand. They are not even fully developed. Their skin is pinkish and somewhat transparent, as well as wrinkly. My biggest issue with the whole thing is also my issue with fertility drugs.
Having more than three or four babies at once is basically unheard of. At least naturally. And if it's not natural, it should not be done. If God intended for us to have eight babies at once, he would make it happen, and he would make it work for the best. If you are unable to have a child for any reason, then God made you that way for a reason. So adopt. There are plenty of "unwanted" babies out there that need homes. And if you really feel the need to go with fertility drugs, you should not have more than three or four at a time. There are so many risks with eight babies at once. First of all, for yourself. So many different complications can arise. Then, for the babies. They cannot be carried full term, which is how it is supposed to be done. And when a baby is not carried full term, they can die. If they don't die, they have the potential for many health problems. Mental disabilites. Physical disabilities. Don't you want a healthy baby? Why take the risk? There are enough children born with disabilites, and they are born the natural way. For God's sake!
I feel so horribly bad for this lady's children. Every single one of them. The eldest six, one who has autism, one who has ADD, and one who has signs of autism, aren't too bad off. The youngest eight, we don't know yet. It's too soon to tell. But none of them have much chance at having an easy childhood. Money struggles is the biggest thing. And they only have their mother to blame. How long until they realize this and start blaming her? Maybe, if she is lucky, they won't. And for their sake, I hope they get help.

It's been a long day.

So I just finished reading my first "sex book." It was three hundred pages and I read it in less than two days. And yet, not very satisfying. The sex descriptions weren't too bad. But the author used medical-like words, like "penis" and "vagina." When you're having sex, do you think, "oh I hope he sticks his 'penis' in my 'vagina"? It's probably more like "dick" and "pussy." Right? Well anyways. The biggest problem with this book, and I'm sure most "sex books," is that there is very little to it. A very simple plot, two or three main characters, and sex. And that's it. That's all there is to it. No real substance. No real life feeling. Very little to relate to. I couldn't feel for the characters as they went through hard times, because I didn't really know them. The books that are the best, describe the characters not only physically, but also emotionally. You know who they are. And in this book, the characters were like complete strangers until the very end. Not satisfying at all.
Next subject is potty training. My boyfriend's son is two. My boyfriend and his son's mom, I'll call her Valerie, share their son 50/50. Except for the last few weeks. We had him for about a week and a half and then Valerie had him for almost three weeks because my boyfriend went to Iowa for a week. Well when we dropped the little guy off at his mom's, he was basically potty trained. He told us when he had to go pee and he used the toilet a few times every hour. He was wearing real underwear all the time, except during his nap and at night. Well, after being at his mom's for almost three weeks, we picked him up the other day and it's like starting from square one. She hasn't kept up with the potty training at all. She learned in her parenting class that most boys aren't even totally potty trained until age 3. Well don't you want your son to be above average? I know that if he was my son, I'd want him to be potty trained and above everyone! He's not my son and I still want that for him.
And last of all is my apartment complex. We smoke. On the third floor. My neighbors do as well, as do the people below us. I've seen both flick cigarettes off their balconies onto the grass below, creating literally a minefield of cigarette butts, many of them half smoked. Yesterday while I was at work, the management and maintinence told everyone they had twenty four hours to pick up any cigarette butts outside their place or they would get a $25 fine. The girl next to me picked up all of hers and Carl and I picked up about half of the butts below us, because the people below us smoke and flick as well. When I told the young girl in the office this news this morning, she basically told me that if they weren't all picked up by noon, I would be the one getting in trouble. Are you fucking kidding me? So after bitching her out as nicely as possible, Carl and I picked them all up and stored them in our garage, so if they ever say anything to me about butts on the ground, I will show them the bag because I am through with it. I have an ashtray and none of our friends flick the butts over anymore. So they can kiss my ass. Luckily for that girl, because I did have it in my mind to go yell at her in person, I did get an apology from another lady, one who understands that it wasn't just me. Oh God I can't wait to move.
Yay I have all my bitching out for the day.