It's been a really long time since I've blogged and now that I'm on here, it's hard to force myself to find something to write about. It's not that I haven't had anything to write about. Not having the internet at my apartment is the problem.
So where should I start?
I think I'll start with death because it's the most recent subject in my mind. I googled "death" and it came up with a lot of definitions. The one I like best is "the time at which life ends." To me, when someone dies, that means all of the organs in the body cease to function. The soul, however, exits the body and continues on, either to heaven or hell. I can't be the judge as to where each soul goes, but I like to think the best, so I will just say heaven. Here is my question: when someone dies, why is everyone sad? The obvious reason is because you can no longer talk to that person; no longer see them, hang out with them. But there must be a reason for their death. I guess my reasoning is that God decided that they no longer had a purpose on this earth. There is a poem somewhere that reads something along these lines: God wanted her for himself. That means that God is selfish right? Possibly. But I won't go into that. I like to think that when I die, people will not only be sad, but also happy. Happy that I lived my life the way I wanted. Happy that they knew me(that sounds a bit conceited, but it's not meant to be). Why can't we celebrate a life even in death? Death is natural, it is to be expected, yet it is always a surprise. Can you imagine never seeing your best friend again? Can you imagine never talking to your family again? Can you imagine never kissing your lover again? It's an extremely difficult subject. I do know how it feels. I have had a lot of death in my life. I guess that means I should know how to deal with it. But it never gets easier. Because like I said before, it's always a surprise. Even when someone is sick and on their death bed, you are never prepared for that moment when they are actually gone. You may think you are, but trust me, you aren't. And then there are the ones that happen suddenly. A perfectly healthy, young person. You may see them on the street one day and be going to their funeral a few days later. You may hang out with them, drink a little, and the next day realize you will never get to do that with them again. As the years go by, do you wonder what the last thing you said them was? I do. Do you wonder if there was some way you could have saved them? I do. Do you wonder if you should have done more for them, given them more attention, more love? I do. So here is the last thing I will say on this subject: don't take anyone for granted. You must say what you mean because if you don't, you might not get another chance. You must say what you feel. Don't hide. Don't forget to love.