Is this the way a toy feels when it's batteries run dry?

I figured I was falling in love with him. Everything that I was feeling was right. And when I realized how close I was to losing him, it was basically a wake up call. I suddenly realized how much I was taking him for granted and that I didn't want to anymore because I didn't want to lose him. I didn't want him to just walk away and not look back. That thought scared me, I guess. It must have because I changed. In my head, our relationship with each other changed. I was going to commit to him and be with him and just him and I would tell him that so he wouldn't have to wonder. And then something tragic happened. And since then, nothing has been the same. He's not the same, obviously. When something like this happens, you have to change because a part of your life is gone. It happened to me once, so I understand. I understand that change is necessary in this situation. But why would the way he sees me change? Word on the street is, we're just friends. What the fuck?! And apparently it must be somewhat true because I haven't seen him since this event happened. And he has been to the bars and with other people. But not with me. Why? I don't know. I wish I did. I wish I could read his mind. I wish he would talk to me. I don't like being in the dark. And if he has changed his mind for some reason, ok then. There's not much I can do about that. I will still tell him how I feel about him. And if he still doesn't want to move on with me, then I'll move on. Because that's what I'll have to do. But I just don't want him to totally cut me off without any warning. Because that hurts worse.