A difference?

Would you let one of your boyfriend's best friends drive drunk?
Would you chase him down for a half hour in the parking lot to prevent him from killing himself?
Would you be angry if someone tried to stop you?
Would you be angry if someone said it was none of your business?
Would you feel useless when your boyfriend let him drive drunk?
Would you feel awkward when the smallest words don't make it all better?

Tonight was an amazing celebration. It was a celebration to bring in the year 2009. I had some of my closest friends with me and, of course, my boyfriend whom I love dearly and would do anything for. A bit of drinking, a bit of laughing, a lot of living. None of the drama that usually comes with lots of people drinking in a small space. A lot of chill people who just wanted to have fun and celebrate. We brought in the new year with some kisses and a lot of yelling "happy new year!" It was definitely a good way to end the year 2008 and start the year 2009.
At least for an hour. After a bit, one of my boy's best friends tried driving. Drunk of course. He could barely walk. He could barely run away from me when I tried taking away his car keys, which was his girlfriend's request. I really didn't mind. Mostly because my boy cares about him and is his good friend. However, when, later, my boy decided to let him walk away and drive, still very drunk, with little effort to stop him, I felt a bit useless and silly. Silly for chasing him down because in the end, it was useless. He still drove drunk. And it doesn't matter if he made it home safe or not. A few seconds is all it takes to be killed and/or kill someone else. So my chasing him down and trying to stop him meant nothing. So why did I even try? Maybe next time I won't. Next time I'll just say, "fuck it. It didn't matter last time so why will it matter next time?" And even though I say I wouldn't do it again, I know I will. I always will. If someone that I know tries to drive home, very, very, very drunk, then I will do my best to stop them. But when my efforts are not even recognized, it makes me wonder why the fuck do I even try? I will, of course, always try. No matter what. No matter who says that it's none of my business. No matter who tries to "bumb" me out of the way. I will always try until I can't try anymore. And then, I will just let go and be done with it and say, "well I tried and that's all I can do." Maybe someday it will come to something. Me trying. My efforts will someday make a difference and save someones' life. Or touch someone. Or make a difference. Who knows when that will be. But I will try and wait until it happens. And even after that moment when my efforts make a difference, I will still continue on and keep trying until the day that I die. Because that's just who I am. That's just how I was made. The end.