Standing trial for your sins.

I have a lot of faults. I procrastinate. I'm stubborn. I make mistakes. Everyone does. I'm glad that one of the biggest mistakes of my life has been forgiven. I never expected it. When you mess up, and potentially mess up someone else's life, you don't expect to be forgiven, at least not any time soon. But he's such a good person. I know that if I was in his position, I would never talk to me again. He's a hell of a lot better than me. And I'm glad. Maybe someday I can be like him, able to forgive people because . . . just because. Because it's the right thing to do.

One of the other biggest mistakes of my life . . . it's still out there. I know that I'll never be the same. How cliche. How true. You know those people that change your life? Why do we tend to hurt them? For some reason, we tend to hurt the most important people in our lives. It's kind of horrible.

I'm not sure what I want to do. There's so many options. There's so many people who I can turn to. But none of them really get what I'm telling them. There's the great advice and then there's what I really should do. And then there's what I really want to do. But here's the problem : I don't know what I want to do! I want to fix what I broke. But I don't know how. If I knew how, I would, and maybe things would be better. Maybe.