Reign Over Me

Probably one of the best movies I've seen in a long time. Yeah, American Gangster was very good. But Reign Over Me is a totally different kind of movie, so a totally different kind of good. It was like, total raw human emotion. Watching it, I cried in three different parts. It was like I was there, feeling what the characters where feeling. Adam Sandler has always done comedies and he's awesome at it. But his character, Charlie, is totally heart broken and he plays it so well. Charlie can't even function as an adult because of what happened to his family. And it's so incredibly sad. But he doesn't hide it like most people. Most people just pretend to move on and act normal. But not Charlie. He can't move on and he doesn't try so of course, everyone tries to get him help. But he doesn't really need help. He needs to do it on his own. And that's how people are a lot of the time. When something happens and you can't move one, you can't breath, you can't go on with your day, people feel this need to help you. They feel like if you talk to someone, usually a shrink, then you'll get better. But what if that makes it worse? Because really, you just need to move on at your own pace and do it on your own. When you do it on your own, it will make you feel better about yourself. You won't feel dependent on anyone. At least that's how it has always been for me.

I hate relying on people to make me feel good. I mean, obviously it's nice when people make you feel good and better about yourself. But really, I want to know that I can make myself happy. That I don't need someone to else to give me that warm feeling inside. I may want it, but I don't need it. I'm independent. I always have been. And some people don't like it. Some people see it as me being a bitch or distant or whatever. But there's those people who understand it because they are or were at one point also independent. And those are the people that I will allow to make me feel good, happy. Because then it will be actual happiness, nothing fake or made up. I understand that I can't always rely on myself. And I accept that. But that doesn't mean that I will allow myself to constantly rely on others. That's just no way to live.