Hate to love.

I look forward to the day when I never think about him. The day when I can honestly say I don't miss him. The day when I can say that I don't want him anymore. The day will come when I won't dream about a future with him. It's about time for that day. I'm waiting impatiently for that day. I wish that day had already come and gone. I'm ready to move on. I try to keep moving and leave him behind but he always seems to catch up with me. It doesn't seem to matter that I can go out and do whatever I want. It doesn't seem to matter who comes into my life. He's always there and he won't leave. I don't even understand what it is about him that I'm so attached to. Maybe it's just the memory of how I felt when I was around him and when I talked to him. I just want to hold onto that memory and let go of him at the same time. Is that possible? It's not negative anymore. It's all positive. It's all wanting something that I can't have. It's wanting something that I wish I didn't want to want. I can't imagine seeing him again because then it would start all over. But I know I will. Deep down, I know that someday I will see him and everything will change. Or maybe it will stay the same. He's so far away and yet he's right beside me. He's the one I hate to love.