You know you could've been a wonder

I'm not sure how to feel. Sadness? Relief? Excitement? Heartbreak? Sad because a great thing has ended. Relief because I never felt like a priority and that horrible feeling is gone. Excitement because I can go out and not worry about someone else. Heartbreak because I just realized tonight that I really did love him.
Is it possible to love someone and hate them at the same time? I believe it is very possible. You may love someone because you know they are a good person at heart. They didn't hurt you on purpose. But you hate them because they chose a horrible lifestyle over you. They may love it and be having the time of their life. But you know they will never amount to anything. And that makes me incredibly sad.
But I have to move on.
I've always loved living here. I grew up in the country, but I'm definitely a city girl at heart. But even though it seems quite large to me, this city is possibly not large enough. I think I need a change of scenery.