Welcome to the breakdown

The more I think about it, the more I realize what the truth in myself is. I did put myself in danger last night. I thank God I am ok. So why did I put myself in danger? Why did I leave? At first I thought it was just because I didn't want to sleep with someone snoring in my ear. Because I thought I was ok to drive. Because I hate sleeping at other people's houses. Maybe those were all small factors. But I realize now that it's because of the breakdown. I don't breakdown in front of other. When other people are around, I will hold it in and wait until later when I can be alone. I think I've been holding it in for a long time now because deep down, last night I knew that I had to get out of there because I needed to break down. And I did. And I feel a little bit better. But at the same time, I can't quite figure out what the hell is wrong. When I figure it out, I'll type again.